Although a little late it is time for the yearly review of my blog and to some extent my gaming in general. Last year my blog review was full of disappointment. This year however it is the complete opposite, I am really pleased with with how the last year has panned out and I am excited to see what will happen over the next 12 months.
There have been 18 blog posts since my year 5 review. 11 of these posts have been about about new games, most of which I have completed. The remaining 7 posts have been about games I have already blogged about in the past. Most notably EVE Online. Last year I admitted that I had not completed a single game since the previous review. This year I have completed 11 games, some of them with friends. I think the most noteworthy game is Valheim, but completing Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII and Fallout 4 are pretty decent achievements, taking a lot of time and effort. The first game I completed since my last review was FRONT MISSION 1st: Remake in September. I can not express the relief this gave me. Knowing that I was capable of completing a game made me feel like me again, it made me feel like a gamer. My list of completed games has grown from 13 to 24. To think that in 1 year I completed almost as many games as I had in 5 years is incredible to me and perhaps a little frightening.
Friends are good! Of the 11 games I have completed Jamie and Shadey are one way or another responsible for 6. Spending more than 200 hours playing through Valheim with them has been particularly good, but playing through Portal 2 and A Way Out with Jamie and then later Left 4 Dead with both of them was fun. Jamie also let me use her copy of Stray and they both gave me Slay the Spire and Hades. All of which are excellent games. To be honest I am not used to this kind of attention. To go from having 1 true friend who is several thousands of miles away to having 3 friends, 2 of which live in the same city as me, is a pretty big deal. This has improved confidence considerably but I feel that I still have some way to go.
It is possible for me to play an MMO and play a variety of other games. I suspect however that this is unique to playing EVE Online. Playing World of Warcraft I found that if I didn’t play, if I didn’t invest time, I would fall behind and not be able to keep up. With EVE Online however it is different. A lot of it comes down to your character(s) improving over time. Skill training occurs even when you’re not playing the game, but more than that most ships and activities in EVE Online remain relevant. Growing and improving is never ending, which is true for everyone, but after a relatively short investment of time it is possible to never fall behind and always be able to keep up with other players in a particular way. If I stopped playing but started to play again 6 months later, everything that I could do is still relevant and useful. There are no specific goals other than the ones that you set for yourself which means it does not much matter what other people are doing or where they are in their EVE Online career.
I want to do much of the same. I would like to continue to invest in spending time with my friends which in turn will continue to improve my gaming experience. More importantly this gives me an opportunity to grow as a person by building my confidence and perhaps, in time and with effort, become part of a wider friend group. If not I must at the very least remember to make efforts to try and give as much as I take from my relationships. For most this probably comes quite naturally, for me it’s really scary. My friend Jason may remember my closing statement of the Playing Alone post I made almost 5 years ago.
‘My heart tells me that I should dream, that I should see the world for what it could be, that I should dare to seek friends, dare to love and be loved. But my head tells me to stop, don’t get hurt, don’t get disappointed, nobody could like you anyway. Which is why I sit here alone, playing a game alone, with thousands of people.’
This hasn’t changed. For the most part I still feel this way. But I hope I can be brave and continue to listen to my heart a little more.
If anyone would like to provide feedback and/or suggestions for my year 6 review, please feel free to do so. You can leave a comment or contact me by any means.
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